I wish this was going to be a more positive post

A sweet little video of Olivia to help ease the news of this post. 

Day 28 of bedrest

79 days left until my EDD

23 days left until 32 weeks

As you all know, yesterday I was hospitalized. We had originally hoped that maybe they could stabilize me and I'd get to go home in a few days but that's not going to be happening. Today, my doctor came and saw me early this afternoon. She said if my symptoms don't improve that they would have to put me on magnesium sulfate, which is a drug to help with BP, lower risk of seizure and help prevent pre-e from becoming eclampsia. Well, I ate my lunch and while I was sitting up, my eyes got all kinds of wonky. I had floaters going across them and bright streaks of lights flashing across them. I laid down and after an hour or two they hadn't gotten better, which hadn't happened before. I told the nurse, who contacted the oncall doctor. The on call doctor was concerned of course and decided to put me on the mag sulfate. I had TRULY hoped to be able to avoid the mag sulfate but unfortunately that wasn't the case. It has terrible side effects and really is just a nasty drug. 

So I was put on the mag and immediately I could feel it. I was burning up, it felt like my skin was melting off my bones. My brain fellt like it was melting out of my skull and I got CRANKY!! Like I was snapping at EVERYONE. Once they turned it down, I felt much better. I was still extremely cranky, and definitely spacey but I think the crankiness was in direct correlation with the idea of having mag sulfate. The other bad thing about mag sulfate is that once you're on it, you're usually on it for good so unfortunately, I won't be going anywhere out of this hospital unless I'm no longer pregnant or being transferred over to Abbott Hospital before 32 weeks. :(  

JUST when I thought this day couldn't get much worse, the results of my 24 hour urine came back. My protein in my urine has more then quadrupled in a weeks time. A week ago it was 494 mg, which pushed me into the pre-eclamptic range. NOW, it's well over 2000 mg. I'm not sure if that means it's switched from mild pre-e to severe pre-e though. I'll find out tomorrow. When they told me that number (I wish I could remember the exact number but like I said, mag makes you VERY spacey), I. COMPLETELY. LOST. IT. I mean it. I started SOBBING uncontrollably. I could barely talk. I literally snorted a few times while I was trying to breathe. I am so glad that the nurses who were with me were so wonderful. They were quiet when needed, and said the right things. Not the junk things that people say to you to TRY to make you feel better but just end up sounding kind of lame (no offense to anyone..). 

After I had my 30 minute  break down, i got up to use the bathroom and decided I'd have ENOUGH of the hospital gown so I put on the one pair of pajamas I had in my bag. The nurse had to help me because of my IV but wow. i can't TELL you how much better it made me feel. I mean it. I felt a MILLION times better. My butt wasn't hanging out, it came off my shoulders...well most of you know how hospital gowns are! They suck!! So now I need more jammies because I am NOT putting that hospital gown on until I give birth! 

Speaking of giving birth, we have NO idea when that will happen. We are doing EVERYTHING we can to push it out until 32 weeks. They are hopeful but it just depends on what my body does. Luckilly, Ella is doing great and my liver is completely functional. My kidneys are not doing so great (which is why i'm spilling so much protein). The mag is helping with that though. I've already seen a vast improvement in my urine outtake since the mag and constant fluids have started. But at this point, we're counting days. I have been given the steroids so by tomorrow, Ella's lungs will be doing well. Every SINGLE day at this point will help. I'm 2 days from turning 29 weeks so if we can make it last 3 weeks and 2 days that would be splendid but like I said, every single day counts right now. Heck, even hours count.